Ultimate springtime golf fitness tips for "real" golfers

By Tim McDonald,
National Golf Editor

For those of you unfortunate enough to live in the North, you must be salivating at the thought of the spring golf season.

Hold on, Tiger. You ain't the man you used to be. You can't just jump up and go straight to the golf course after a long winter of sloth and mold.

Now, you will find any number of charlatans willing to sell you their total golf fitness regimens. These sleazoids always assume you're a golfer interested in a cleaner, healthier way of living and golfing. I've seen you out on the course, and I know that's not the sort of thing you're "into."

So here is my total golf fitness regimen for the "real" golfer:

• For God's sake, you have to strengthen your core! This involves eating really hard food, like jawbreakers. Eat a bag of those and have your neighbor punch you in the gut to see if your core is all it can be.

Options: Month-old fudge, Purina Dog Chow, pine bark.

• You also have to really work your obliques, I mean really work the hell out of them. Here's the perfect exercise for that. Lie flat on your back with knees bent slightly wider than your hips. If you have really fat hips, you're either going to have to really stretch your knees like in a cartoon, like The Elastic Man from India, or just skip this exercise. In fact, if you have really fat hips, just skip playing golf, nobody wants to see you out on the course.

Now, you slim-hipped people reach your hands to the ceiling like you're crying out for the Lord Jesus Christ to spare you from your miserable existence. You can hold light hand-weights, or not. What do I care? Lift your head and chest toward the ceiling and rotate to reach both hands just outside of your fat, right knee. Repeat on the left side. Now, take a breather. Ask Christ for forgiveness.

• Breathing exercises: Breathing properly and deeply is critical, especially for those tense moments on the course when normally you would start crying.
This deep-breathing exercise involves attending your local adult movie house, or calling up one of those sites on your Internet browser. Follow your instincts. It's either that or follow mine, and then you're looking at jail time.
• Horizontal abduction/adduction: I can't give you much help here, because I always get "horizontal" confused with "vertical," and I have no idea what adduction is. Who came up with that word, anyway? It's a stupid word and should be eliminated from the English language, if it's even English.

• Standing hip rotation: Don't do this. It makes you look like a girl.

• Alcohol fitness: How many times have you lost $2 Nassaus because while you were getting hamboned, your playing partners were just holding up that bottle of Jack Black pretending to drink?

Well, no need to waste good liquor. You can still drink and maintain your competitive edge. You just need to build up a tolerance. Stand upright in a dark closet, with a wide stance, and suck it down. Keep drinking until your wife leaves you.

• Aerobics: Ha! Don't make me laugh. This is golf!

• Putting: Don't bother to practice putting. Putting in golf is overrated. I play golf maybe 200 times a year and I've yet to meet anyone who can putt. You either make it or you don't. If you miss, just keep putting until the ball goes in the hole. Simple.

• Seniors: As we age, our bodies react differently, so seniors must prepare for golf differently than young punks. An important thing to remember is that there is an inverse relationship of increased ear hair to laughably short drives off the tee.

So keep those ear hairs trim and neat. If you're proud of your thick mane of ear hair, don't sweat it. If you're short off the tee, you're probably small in other areas, and I think you know what I'm talking about.

• Excuses: A healthy psychological outlook is a must for Better Golf. If you can convince yourself that the snap hook you hit into the weeds over there is not your doing at all, you'll retain the confidence needed to excel in the game.

The first time you smack one of your all-too-typical lousy shots, turn to your playing partner and snarl," "Will you stop that!" Look at him, looking all hurt and everything. Who would have thought golf fitness could be so much fun?

• Torque development in the downswing: This is so important, I can barely contain myself. This is vital to any golfer who has ever wanted to improve his score. You could even say it is absolutely critical in terms of reaching your full potential as a golfer and knowing what it is to be truly human.

• Alignment and posture: Face the target squarely and stand erect, with your rump jutting out slightly. Feels a little silly, doesn't it? Can you think of another situation in life where you would position yourself in such an odd manner? I can't.

NEC Golfer's of the Week

Central Connecticut State's Matt McClure and Sacred Heart's Patrick Fillian have been named NEC Co-Golfers of the Week. The pair tied for seventh at the Yale Spring Open, firing two-day scores of 145. McClure's 2.88 par three average was the lowest amongst the field's 149 participants, while Fillian's second round, one-over par 71, was the lowest round shot by 15 NEC golfers in attendance. Also receiving honors is Fairleigh Dickinson's Michele Holzwarth Hagen, who earns her second straight women's NEC Golfer of the Week award. Holzwarth Hagen has led the Knights to five straight event wins, capturing five individual titles in the process. The Berlin, Germany native carded a 74 in the Rutgers Quad Match, en-route to a first place finish, before posting an 84 for a win in the St. Francis Quad. Holzwarth Hagen has captured NEC Golfer of the Week honors on four occasions this season.

Patriot League March Golfer of the Month

Ricky Hayes, Colgate Sr., Ridgefield, Conn.

Hayes receives his second Golfer of the Month award of the year after leading all Patriot League participants with a seventh place finish out of 105 total golfers at the George Washington Invitational. He began the event by shooting a 78 in round one, and notched a 3-under 69 in the second round to match a career best. Hayes concluded the weekend with a 38 on nine holes on the final day to finish with a score of 185 in the 45-hole event.

Hayes has been the top Colgate golfer in five of the six events the Raiders have competed in this year, including the fall season. He previously received Patriot League Golfer of the Month recognition in September.

March Patriot League Honorable Mention Performances

Rahul Desai, Bucknell Sr., Avon, Conn.

Desai, who earned Golfer of the Month honors in October, finished just one shot behind Hayes and in eighth place in the George Washington Invitational. He fired a 72 on the first day and a 75 on day two, while closing with a 39 on the final nine holes. Desai's performance helped Bucknell to a fifth-place finish out of 20 teams. Desai has finished in the top eight in six of his seven starts including the fall season.

Rally for the Cure announces new on-line club donation center

WILTON, Conn. -- Rally for the Cure announces a new partnership with 3balls.com® who have combined efforts to create the Rally Golf Club Donation Center website opening January 2008 and located at donateclubs.rallyforthecure.com. The Center was created as an alternate method of raising funds to beat breast cancer. Golfers interested in raising funds are encouraged to clean out their closets for a good cause by visiting donateclubs.rallyforthecure.com where they can quickly find the fair market donation values for their golf clubs as determined by the PGA.com Value Guide, the National Standard for Golf Club Values™. Funds raised through golf club donations will go to Susan G. Komen for the Cure.

Rally for the Cure® is in it’s 12th year as a golf grassroots breast cancer awareness program. Since it debuted in 1996, the mission of Rally for the Cure® has been to emphasize the importance of early detection in the successful treatment of breast cancer and to support the mission of Susan G. Komen for the Cure to eradicate breast cancer as a life-threatening disease. According to Komen for the Cure, each year breast cancer is the leading cause of death for women ages 35-54, and the disease also accounts for more than 75% of all cancer deaths in women 55 years of age and older.

3balls.com® is a leading online retailer of used and like-new golf equipment. 3balls.com® operates an industry leading e-retail site at www.3balls.com and is a Platinum Power Seller on eBay® that maintains a statistically 100% positive feedback record. 3balls.com® has created and operates several golf industry initiatives such as the PGA.com Value Guide and PGA Trade-In Network that bring benefits to golfers, PGA Professionals, golf retailers, and golf club manufacturers by providing the fair market valuation, condition-grading, reverse-logistics, and monetization of used and like-new golf clubs.

The PGA.com Value Guide, accessed on-line at www.pga.com/valueguide , is the National Standard for Golf Club Values™ that publishes fair-market trade-in and re-sale values for over 5,000 models of used golf clubs based on Marketplace Data from eBay®. Thousands of golfers, PGA Professionals, golf retailers, and others go to the PGA.com Value Guide on a daily basis to find used golf club trade-in and re-sale values, and other golf club information. Golf club donation values offered through the Rally Golf Club Donation Center website are based on the fair-market trade-in values from the PGA.com Value Guide.

Rally for the Cure® is based in Wilton, Connecticut. 3balls.com® is located in Raynham, MA. For further information about donating golf clubs to the Rally Golf Club Donation Center, call 888.247.2559, email rally@3balls,com or visit the website: donateclubs.rallyforthecure.com.

Shark, Couples to Captain Presidents Cup

Greg Norman put aside his differences with the PGA Tour and agreed to be captain of the International team at the Presidents Cup, joining Fred Couples of the United States as the first captains who have competed in the matches.

It will be held in October 2009 at Harding Park, a public course in San Francisco.

The announcement Tuesday shifts the Presidents Cup into a modern era of captaincy. Jack Nicklaus and Gary Player were captains at the last three competitions, and previous captains included Arnold Palmer, Ken Venturi, Hale Irwin, Peter Thomson and David Graham.

Couples was a natural fit as the face of these matches, which were patterned after the Ryder Cup and began in 1994.

He clinched victory for the Americans in the inaugural year with a spectacular 9-iron from the bunker to 2 feet, and two years later, his 35-foot birdie putt on the 17th hole in the last match secured another win.

In his fourth and final Presidents Cup, he made a 20-foot birdie on the last hole to beat Vijay Singh.

The surprise was Norman, who has been battling with PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem for more than a decade over the World Golf Championships and more recently, the tour's finances.

Norman's proposed world tour in 1994 never took root, and Finchem introduced the WGCs a few years later.

"I think what's happened in the past is in the past," Norman said. "If you sit on a board of any company, you don't want to have a friendly board. You need to have some bit of contentious, open discussion because not everybody is going to think exactly the same way. Tim and I have an open discussion about certain situations with the game of golf, whether it's personal, whether it's business.

"The issues are always going to be there. Those issues have got nothing to do with The Presidents Cup."

Norman said Finchem asked him to be International captain at the AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am, and he consulted Ernie Els, Vijay Singh and Adam Scott.

His biggest issue will be finding a way to win.

The United States leads the series, 5-1-1, with the only International victory coming in 1998 in Australia. The tie came in South Africa in 2003, the first year Nicklaus and Player were captains together.

Tour officials then were looking at Couples and Norman as the next captains, but decided on Nicklaus and Player again in 2005 as a way to settle the tie. The Americans won the next year, then won again in 2007 at Royal Montreal.

Couples is one of the most popular players in golf and figures to be the quintessential players' captain.

He has expressed interest in being the Ryder Cup captain, although any hope probably ended in December when he said, "I can promise you, there's 12 guys who don't want to do 75 percent of the stuff there. If you're a great captain, you should tell everyone you're not going to do 75 percent of the stuff."

The Presidents Cup is far more relaxed, and Couples jokingly suggested he would pick Michael Jordan and Robin Williams as assistants, one to tell stories of greatness, the other to tell jokes.

"The Presidents Cup is a treat to play in, and it will be doubly to captain this thing," Couples said. "As close as I am to these guys, I feel like I'll have fun with all of them, whether they're 50th in the rankings or first."

Norman has played two of the last three weeks on the PGA Tour, but is too consumed with his business and his engagement to tennis star Chris Evert to play much tournament golf.

Couples said he planned to play a full schedule each of the next two years, and noted he would be eligible for the Champions Tour right after the Presidents Cup ends.

"Not in my wildest dreams did I think this would happen," Couples said.

Many thought Norman would be captain in 2011, when the Presidents Cup goes to Australia. Norman said he would like to be considered for that, too.

"But under the circumstances, I thought the priority for me right now was to get into the captain's seat, do the best job I could possibly do for the next less than two years now, and basically pull the team through for 2009," he said.

Blue Devils Selected Second According to Northeast Conference Preseason Coaches' Poll

Central Connecticut received two first place votes en route to a second place slotting in the 2008 Northeast Conference Men's Golf Preseason Coaches' Poll. The Blue Devils, who finished third in last season's championships, are looking for their fifth title. Eighth-year head coach Ed Batogowski will turn to all-conference performers Matt McClure, a senior, and Tim Buczak, a junior, to lead CCSU to its first championship since 2005.

A three-time All-Northeast Conference honoree, McClure shot a three-day 222 to finish tied for third at the 2007 NEC Championships. The Orangeville, Ontario native had two top-10 finishes this fall, including a second place effort at the ECAC Championships. His 75.1 stroke average led the Blue Devils. Buczak, meanwhile, earned all-conference honors as a freshman and finished tied for 23rd as a sophomore. He was less than a stroke off McClure's fall average, posting a 75.8 over 13 rounds. His only top-10 came at Dartmouth, where he finished second with rounds of 71 and 76.

Batogowski will likely use a trio of freshman to complement McClure and Buczak. Eric Hawerchuk and Sam Pelletier played in all but the Dartmouth Invitational during the fall, and Tom Ursa made appearances in everything but the NEIGA Championships. Hawerchuk led the three with a 77.3 stroke average. Also a native of Orangeville, Ontario, he shot a season-low 73 in opening round action at the Rutgers Invitational. Ursa had his best effort in his collegiate debut, finishing eighth at the Colgate Invitational with rounds of 77-72. He averaged a 78.1 over the fall. Pelletier, meanwhile, posted a 78.8 stroke average with a low round of 72 at Rutgers.

Defending champion Monmouth, which garnered three first place votes, was named the favorite. Sacred Heart, despite earning the same amount of first place votes as preseason favorite Monmouth, is slotted third, while Mount St. Mary’s and 2007 runner-up Saint Francis (PA) rank fourth and fifth, respectively. The Mountaineers received two first place votes, and the Red Flash collected the remaining first place vote. Long Island, Quinnipiac, Robert Morris, Fairleigh Dickinson, Wagner and St. Francis (NY) rounded out the 11-team field.

The Blue Devils spring season gets underway at Yale on Saturday, Apr. 5. The two-day Yale Spring Opener will be played at Yale Golf Course.

CCSU Men's Golf Fall Statistics

BIG EAST Golf Teams Tee'd Off Opening Weekend

BIG EAST golfers hit the links this past weekend to open the spring season as 12 of 19 league teams were in action.

Louisville senior Derek Fathauer was named to the Ben Hogan Award watch list for the 2008 season. The Hogan is the most prestigious award in men’s college golf and is presented annually to the top men’s golfer. The Hogan Award semifinalists will be announced April 16 and three finalists will be selected on May 7. The final three will be invited to Colonial Country Club in Fort Worth, Texas, for the Hogan Award presentation May 18. Last season Fathauer became the first UofL golfer to earn All-America honors.

In its mid-season publication, Golf World named Marquette junior Mike Van Sickle as the “Best Player You’ve (Maybe) Never Heard Of” by senior collegiate writer Ryan Herrington

Cincinnati: The Bearcats men’s squad finished 12th with a 618 (312-306) and the women placed ninth at 611 (312-299) in the rain-shortened two-day Cuthbert Cup in Kiawah Island, S.C. UNC-Wilmington won the men’s side with a 579 and College of Charleston claimed the women’s crown with a 583. Freshman Joe Kastelic tied for 28th with a four-over 148 (74-74). Leading the women’s team was Bambee Dela Paz who fired rounds of 75-76 for a 151 to finish tied for 22nd. The men return to action March 3-4 at the Grover Page Classic in Jackson, Tenn., while the ladies head to the Rio Verde Invitational in Rio Verde, Ariz.

Connecticut (Men): The Huskies finished in 10th at the Argonaut Invitational, which concluded Feb. 26. UConn shot a three-round total of 915 (303-304-308). Host West Florida claimed the team title with a total of 847. Senior A.J. Siekierski finished in a tie for 29th with a 223 (75-75-73) to lead the Huskies. Next up for UConn is the Spring Kickoff Tournament at Coosaw Creek Country Club in Charleston, S.C., March 3-4.

DePaul (Men): The Blue Demons finished the Texas-San Antonio Intercollegiate tied for eighth. DPU carded an 890 (303-299-288). Mississippi State won the event with an 864. Junior Cory Blenkush closed out his 219 total with a par-71 to finish in a tie for 12th. He carded identical scores of 74 in the first two rounds. DePaul returns to action Feb. 29-March 2 at the Ron Smith Invitational at Lake Jovita Country Club in Dade City, Fla., hosted by USF.

Georgetown: The Georgetown women finished eighth of 17 squads at the Fighting Camel Classic in Buies Creek, N.C. The two-day event was shortened to one after rain forced the cancelation of day two. Junior Carly Hunt shot a 79 to tie for 17th. GU carded a team total of 325, with host Campbell posting a winning score of 301. The ladies return to action March 7-8 at the NIU/Springlake Classic in Sebring, Fla.

The Hoya men kick off their season March 17-18 at the William & Mary Invitational to be played at the Kingsmill Resort in Williamsburg, Va.

Louisville: The Cardinals finished the UCF Rio Pinar Invitational in third place, with a five-under par total of 859 (288-285-286). Host Central Florida won the event with an 846. Fathauer finished in a tie for fourth after shooting three rounds of 70. Next up for UofL is the Seminole Invitational March 2-4 in Tallahassee, Fla.

The Louisville women earned their second 2nd-place finish of the spring season, carding an 872 (290-286-296) at the Lady Gator Invitational. Florida won with an 849. Junior Cindy LaCrosse was the runner-up medalist with a 212, three strokes off the pace. The Cardinals earned a second-place finish at the Qdoba Invitational earlier in the week. UofL travels to Baton Rouge, La., for the LSU/Cleveland Golf Classic March 14-16.

Marquette (Men): The Golden Eagles tee off their spring schedule at the Ron Smith Invitational hosted by USF Feb. 29-March 2.

Notre Dame: The Irish began their spring season Feb. 17-19 at the John Hayt Collegiate Invitational in Ponte Vedra Beach, Fla. ND carded a three-day total of 903 (306-301-296) to finish 15th. Alabama won the team title with an 873. Junior Josh Sandman and sophomore Doug Fortner each finished tied for 29th with a 224 (+8) to lead the squad. Sandman carded rounds of 73-76-75, while Fortner tallied 74-73-77. Notre Dame is back in action March 3-4 at the USC Collegiate Invitational to be held at North Ranch Country Club in Westlake Village, Calif.

The ND women carded a three-round total of 929 (315-300-314) at the Central District Invitational Feb. 18-19. The Irish finished in 10th in the event held at the River Wilderness Golf Club in Parrish, Fla. Michigan State won the team crown after posting an 892. Junior Lisa Maunu posted a 12-over 228 (77-74-77) to finish in a tie for 15th. The Irish returns to the links March 7-9 at the Rio Verde Collegiate Invitational in Scottsdale, Ariz., at the Rio Verde Golf Club.

Rutgers: The Scarlet Knights have yet to tee it up this season. The men will take to the course March 29-30 at the Towson Lacrosse Homes Invitational in Towson, Md., while the women hit the links March 28-29 at the Cincinnati Invitational in Crystal River, Fla.

St. John’s: The Red Storm men’s squad took fourth at the Bethune-Cookman Spring Invitational in Daytona Beach, Fla. STJ carded a 591 (299-292), while Florida Gulf Coast posted an eight-under 568 to claim the crown. Senior Keegan Bradley finished seventh with a one-under 143 (74-69). The Red Storm head to Huaracoa, Puerto Rico, to host the Palmas Del Mar Intercollegiate March 10-11.

The women’s team will launch its spring season March 7-9 at the NIU/Springlake Invitational at the Springlake Golf Course in Sebring, Fla.

Seton Hall (Men): The Pirates open the 2008 season at the Lonnie D. Small Tournament hosted by Campbell University March 3-4 in Buies Creek, N.C.

USF: The Bulls’ men’s team finished in 17th place at the UCF Rio Pinar Invitational with a total of 903 (299-304-300). Host Central Florida won the event with an 846. Senior Jason Elliot finished tied for 21st with a three-round total of 217 (73-75-69). USF will host the Ron Smith Invitational Feb. 29-March 2 at the Lake Jovita Golf and Country Club.

The women tallied a three-round total of 920 (306-302-312) to finish tied for 10th at the Lady Gator Invitational in Gainesville, Fla., Feb. 22-24. Florida took home the team title with an 849. Senior Christina Jones led the ladies with a 227 (73-73-81) to finish tied for 31st. The Bulls will next tee it up at the Pinehurst Challenge March 9-11 in Pinehurst, N.C.

Villanova (Men): The Wildcats will hit their first strokes at the Palmas Del Mar Intercollegiate hosted by St. John’s in Huaracoa, Puerto Rico, March 10-11.